When we intensely want something or have a desire to do something, then the path to achieve it opens up by itself.
From childhood I have had a deep longing to study. Whichever book I started to study, I would want to finish it in as short a time as possible so that I can start another one and so continue studying further and further. After daily activities and the evening pratikraman had concluded, we would routinely just sit for hours because of the stringent traditional vow that wherever sadhus and sadhvis are staying, lamps or bulbs cannot be used, thus making it was impossible to study. I was very much troubled that I could not use time wisely. I thought that if the means to study at night becomes available then so much more could be achieved. I used to plead to Pujya Bai Maharaj and Pujya Bade Maharaj, ‘Please make arrangements so that I can study even at night. The long hours of night are being spent meaninglessly and I don’t like it. Please make some facility so that we can have light. Whether you request it from Bhagwan, take it from the earth or the ocean, whatever you do I leave it to you but this is really important. Just enough to light up a single page so that I can study and use my time wisely.’
My younger sister, Chandrakala was staying with me at that time. She said, ‘I will make the arrangements.’ She was very clever in all sorts of ways. I thought this was impossible – how will she be able to make arrangements to bring light? But Chandrakala’s imagination was striking.
Bikaner is a place where there is a staunch following of doctrines and traditions and to set up lanterns in the Upashraya would indeed be a bold move. Yet 10 year old Chandrakala brought a lantern to the room, set it up and said, ‘You sit here and study at night.’
I do not know how or from where she managed to get the small lantern. Surprised, I just stared at her. Usually, elders take care of the young, but Chandrakala, despite being young, has always looked after me like a mother.
At that time, it looked as if my life had found a new direction. My withering wings re-energized to soar to new heights.
My achievements in life are because of my younger sister, Chandrakala, and the generosity of everyone around. Their efforts and timely decisions made all this possible. My aspiration is as follows:
Do not enclose birds in a cage
Unobstructed flight will then cease
Instead create a world with open skies
Where every bird can fly with unfettered joy